College and ridding my life of toxic people

So...I realize I haven't blog in months and months, and I feel super guilty about it. It's been so long I'm not even sure if anyone is still following me, but I figured I would post a new post anyways.

As many of my followers might know (or not know because it's been so long and they've forgotten), I started college this past August. The semester is actually almost over (only another week to go-yay!) and then I get over a month off. College so far is good, I like it way better than high school. Although I don't really like having homework in general, I like how the work in college is much more independent and how there is less time actually spent in class. This has caused my attendance record to be way better than it was in high school. I've only missed a few classes due to the weather/being sick/super tired, and I have actually felt guilty and sad that I couldn't make it. So overall, college is going well.

The past year or so was really challenging for me in a lot of ways, and one of the reasons why was because I made the decision to let go of all of the "toxic" people in my life. My actual graduating from high school automatically solved about half of this problem, since a lot of the people I wasn't really keen on or close to just drifted away naturally. Letting go of a few people has been especially hard. I had been really close to one friend since about middle school. She was one of my best friends. We had tons of fun times together, but over the years there were a few really hurtful things that she did to me that I just couldn't shake off. She would leave me out of things a lot, not be there for me, or made me feel stupid/like I wasn't good enough no matter what I did. She even put down the school I'm going to, which kind of hurt my feelings. So after a lot of consideration, I decided that for the time being I need to let her go as a friend. For the past year or so we really haven't been in as much contact anyways, but I figured with her going away to college it would just kind of finish it. I actually deleted her along with most of my other contacts from my phone, and didn't hear from her in probably close to four months. I never said anything hurtful to her to "end" our friendship, I just simply never texted her or called. The other day I got a few random text messages from a number I'm assuming was her, but I didn't respond. It may seem harsh to some people, but I'm really trying to cleanse my life of any negative energy, and I feel that this needed to be done.

But without a doubt, the hardest person to let go of by far has been my boyfriend of over two years. I know deep down that he is really not the best thing for me, but I just can never seem to end it for good. I've tried dozens of times, but it never seems to work, and it makes me feel so weak as a person. A lot of the time he is a really good boyfriend, but the other times it is the total opposite-he is so mean sometimes it almost amazes me. He and I share a lot of the same morals in that we don't drink or anything, which I know is really hard to find in a guy so I think that's one of the things that holds me back. It's all so confusing, I don't know what to do.

I also quit my job that was definitely a huge toxic part of my life at the time. I tried working at another part time job, which was just way too much with school, so I quit that. I've passively been looking for another job that will fit better with my school schedule, so hopefully something works out.

I know this has been a really long post, and I really am going to get back into writing more frequently on here.