Pajama Jeans

Sorry for not blogging in a few days, I had a midterm (which I didn't do so great on) and I got scheduled at work pretty much all weekend. Anyways, I've decided to dedicate this blog post to something most would consider bizarre. I'm going to talk about pajama jeans.

Now if you don't know what I'm talking about, you can do a quick Google search on this strange object of clothing if the title "Pajama Jeans" doesn't describe it in enough detail for you. Basically what pajama jeans are is a pair of stretchy denim with a thin line of fleece on the inside. If anyone's ever worn jeggings or really stretchy jeans, they seem to be the same thing. I first saw them on a commercial when I was watching TV with my mom and my sister. At first we were making fun of them, but the more I thought about it, the more they seemed comfortable. They aren't particularly attractive, but they aren't totally hideous either. They are just a basic dark denim wash with a slight boot cut to them. The idea of them is so strange I'm curious to buy a pair just to see if they really are like pajamas (I hate uncomfortable jeans more than anything).

The whole jegging trend is really kind of odd if you think about it. I'm not even sure what jeggings really are-are they the jeans with the fake pockets or just stretchy skinny jeans? Because if it's the latter then I do own quite a few pairs. The more that I think about it, there have been quite a few strange trends that I have tried and am embarassed to admit I was a part of now.

What are some weird trends you have noticed or taken part of?

I need some advice...

So this isn't really a blog post, but I need some advice. I was wondering, how do you know when a relationship is over for sure and how do you move past it?

10 random facts about me

So for this post I've decided to create a list of 10 random facts about me. Sit back and get ready to learn about the extremely exciting me. (this list is in no particular order)

1. I'm always really cold...I started with this one first because I'm sitting here freezing as I type this. No matter the season, I can guarantee you I'll be sitting there shivering. I actually have this weird condition where my toes turn a purple/bluish color whenever they get really cold. I always get comments from my friends whenever I wear sandals. I think the condition is called Raynaud's or something. It has to due with poor circulation.

2. Another fact about my feet-I have monkey toes. I know, that sounds kind of creepy and weird, but I have really flexible toes. If I drop something on the floor, I can pick it up with my toes without bending down to pick it up with my hands. One time when I was about ten I decided to measure how far apart I could spread my toes. It was over an inch between my fourth toe and my pinky toe. How fascinating, right?

3. For number three, I won't discuss my feet. I'll discuss my past obsession with the Jonas Brothers. Yep, I used to love the Jonas Brothers. But before you start thinking I was some teeny bopper stalker, I wasn't. I actually liked them about two years before they became famous. My friend saw them in a small shopping mall and told me about them, which started it all. I saw them seven times and met them three. I really liked them up until they got really famous, and then the whole thing just became kind of annoying. That always happens to me, I always find a band I really like and then they become extremely famous. It sucks.

4. Lately I've been having a really hard time accepting myself. I've been under a lot of stress lately and have received some not so nice comments about my appearance from those around me. I always feel like I'm never good enough, and it's really pathetic because about a year ago I had finally gotten to the point where I had really high self-esteem. I'm not quite sure how to re-build it.

5. This one kind of goes with number four. I feel like I just blend into the background of the world around me. Even my mother said that to me. It always seems like I'm second best for everything. I'm decently good at a lot of things, but there's not one thing that I really excel at. Which is why choosing a college/major has been really difficult for me.

6. About five years ago I had a family member pass away who was fairly young. I feel like this has really changed my outlook on things, and has made me more mature than people my age in a lot of ways. I think when it happened people just figured I was over the whole thing, but it actually took me quite a while to get over it. I just bottled up all of my emotions and dealt with it day by day, and eventually I was able to come to terms with it. Although nobody really talks about it anymore, I still have rough days dealing with it.

7. I work hard in school, but it still feels like I never achieve anything because my friends are all so smart. Sometimes that's hard to deal with and to feel happy for them when they can get into whatever school they want when I'm still finding my way.

8. Lately I've been obsessed with Rice Krispy treats and those soft microwavable pretzels. I also really love Peanut Butter Smidgens from Gertrude Hawks chocolates. I could eat an entire box in one day if I don't watch it.

9. I love shopping. Any day, any time of the day, I would go shopping. I know that sounds shallow, but I've loved buying clothes every since I was little.

10. Most of the people I know perceive me as being really quiet, but when you get to know me I can be pretty loud and crazy.

That covers most of the basics I think.

The most anticipated night of my life...prom.

Just to start off with, I was being sarcastic in the title. I hope I don't end up like one of those people in their 40's who still dress like they're in high school and act like the highlight of their lives was homecoming and the prom. Not that there's anything wrong with those people, I just hope there are more moving points in my life besides a school dance. But anyways, with the holidays over and spring approaching (not around here, it's been snowing like crazy...which by the way I did get a snowday the other day in case anyone cares) students at my school seem to have only one thing on their minds, and that is prom. For me, prom is really nothing more than a night to celebrate the end of high school. Because my high school experience has just been on the mediocre side, I'm not quite sure what to do about the whole prom thing. To be honest I haven't had a whole lot of time to worry about it. Within the last two weeks my life has been basically flipped upside down. I got deferred from the college I've wanted to go to since I was about 12, and broke up with my boyfriend of over a year. It seems like when I maybe had my life figured out, everything decided to change on me. I have to say, it bothers me that I worked really hard all through high school to end up being the one sitting here without any idea on what direction to head in next. While I try to figure out what other colleges to apply to, my friends have been trying to figure out who their prom date will be. I'm still undecided about whether I'll go or not. I'll have to see if someone asks me or if there's a guy friend I can ask. I think part of the reason I'm hesitant to go to prom is because I'm scared I'll be let down. I always have too high of expectations for everything. I can still remember the eighth grade dance I went to. It was a dance but it was only open to the eighth graders, where we were supposed to celebrate the end of middle school. I remember buying a brand new dress, new shoes, and getting my hair and nails done. I wasn't the only one who did that, the majority of the girls going also did the same. We were all so excited-who was going with who, who would dance with who, what we would do there, etc. All of the girls talked about it for months, while most of the guys didn't say much of anything. That should've been a warning sign right there. I still remember walking into the dance, I was so excited. Everyone's dress was so pretty, we all took so much time to get ready. Then I saw the guys. Most of the guys decided it would be funny to blow off the whole idea of a semi-formal dance. They decided to wear jeans, t-shirts, and draw on black mustaches (they took the salsa dancing theme a bit too far). All of the girls just looked at each other like "did I really just spend two hundred dollars to look nice for my crush who I wanted to dance with and he's wearing that?" To make it even better, the guys decided to play basketball and skip most of the dancing and related activities. I just remember feeling so let down. I mean my friends and I hung out, which was fun, but I guess my ideas of some romantic evening with the boy I had liked since first grade didn't measure up to reality. Looking back on it now, it's kind of funny. I guess the lesson I learned is that sometimes the things we expect to be great and amazing really just end up being like any other day, while the days we least expect to be a pivotal point in our lives are sometimes the ones that matter the most. Hopefully I'll have one of those pivotal days soon, because I definitely need some direction in my life.

Snowdays...the highlight of my life.

So the weather forecast is calling for snow/ice/rain. I'm really hoping there's a snowday tomorrow. The thing with me though is it's an all or nothing kind of deal when it comes to snowdays. I'm not familiar with all districts and their policies, but ours has this system where if the weather is bad, we get a delay or a snowday. Or sometimes they like to be annoying and send us home early, which is a pain for everyone involved. Personally, I would rather just have a full day of school if it was either a delay or a full day. Delays throw my schedule off. Although most people believe you get to sleep in, I have to half stay awake to beware of the time so I have enough time to still get ready. And once I get to school I can't do my usual routine which is saving most of my homework until the morning. I get to school early enough that I can do most of it then, and I have a few teachers who don't really care what we do so that's a good time to do it too. Hopefully I just get a snowday though. I really don't like school. I know everyone says that, but I really don't. I'm not sure what it is about the whole thing, but it's never really set well with me, especially high school. It's probably because I never really fit into one group, I'm just kind of my own person. Most people would think that's a good thing, but in the world of high school, that usually means sitting by yourself. Now I wouldn't exactly label myself as an outcast or anything, but I'm not really "normal". I don't drink, or do drugs. I don't really like sports, so I'm usually not present for the football games or similar events. I'm not anti-social, it just takes a lot for me to click with someone. I love shopping and things like that, and the girls at my school who are into that are usually kind of stuck up and think they're better than everyone else. I get good grades, but I'm not an extreme nerdy type of kid either. I don't know what I am, I'm just kind of there to a lot of people. It probably doesn't help that I can be pretty quiet, especially because I don't usually have much to say to the people whose every conservation revolves around the weekend's hottest party or who got into a fight with who. I just don't really fit in, and I'm not quite sure why. It's alright though, at least I'm almost done. Even though I don't know what to do after I graduate.

Anyways, I'm still hoping for that snowday tomorrow. I better wear some white socks to bed.

"Here on Earth"

So I don't know if I even have anyone reading my blog at all yet, but I'm still going to go on and ramble about a movie I watched recently. I just watched a somewhat older movie, "Here on Earth" with Josh Hartnett in it. First off, let me just say that he was looking good in that movie. But besides the fact that there were guys walking around without shirts on in the movie, I didn't really get it. I mean I understood the storyline of the movie, but it was kind of strange. If you haven't seen the movie and by some chance plan on watching it, beware that I'm about to spoil the ending. The movie is basically about a girl who near the end of the movie we find out she is ill and she ends up passing away. But before that, these two guys are car racing and run into her parents' restaurant, ruining it which leads to them doing the task of re-building it. The girl in the movie (whose name I don't remember) is dating Josh Hartnett's character, but ends up cheating on him and leaving him for the other guy in the movie. I found this plot to be kind of depressing in a way, it wasn't exactly the light-hearted movie I expected. It reminded me of "A Walk to Remember", but definitely not as good, and in "A Walk to Remember", Mandy Moore's character doesn't have the dilemma of choosing between two guys. "Here on Earth" definitely wasn't as deep and as touching as "A Walk to Remember". But anyways, the reason for me talking about "Here on Earth" was that I could relate to the girl in the movie and how confused she is about life. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life, or where I want to go to school. It seems that everyone around me seems to have it all figured out, and I'm just sitting here with no idea. Like I said before, it doesn't seem like anyone is reading my blog, but if by some small chance there is, what is your advice for someone who has no idea on which direction to take in life next?

Confused...about everything.

After a recent break-up, I have been trying to re-build my life. It's been more difficult than I thought. I always thought that I would be with this person forever, and without realizing it, slowly began to build my life around this person. I know what you're thinking, "How can someone be so stupid to do that?" Trust me, I would have thought the exact same thing. However, sometimes when someone's in a situation rather than looking in from the outside, their judgement and views become less clear on what's truly happening. I slowly began to become isolated from the world around me, and I didn't care at the time. Never being an extrememly social person, I felt great that I finally had someone to lean on and hang out with. In reality, this person really didn't lend me a shoulder to cry on when I needed to, or congratulate me on my accomplishments (which lately, doesn't seem like many). I slowly become one of those girls that I used to feel bad for-the ones that have their boyfriends become such a big part of their lives that there's not much room for other things. I think I became so dependent on always having them around, that I was scared to be alone. This is a bizarre thing for me to feel, since this was my first serious relationship, so in some ways before I was alone. The funny thing is, is that right before I found this person, for once in my life I was content with the place in my life that I was at the time. It's not like that anymore. I have no idea what to do with my life, or what to turn to. I guess this is one of those situations where I'll just have to see what happens and go from there.

Why did I start this blog?

Wherever you and are whoever you are, you are reading my blog. Obviously. However you got here, you are probably wondering, "What is the point of this blog?" To be honest, I myself do not know the answer to that question. All I know is that my life has been very stressful and complicated lately, and I need somewhere to vent. Whether anyone wants to listen or not is their choice, but I would love to receive some advice and share some in return. Not sure what else to say, I guess this is my introductory post. There's not much to know about me...I'm a person just trying to get through each day like the majority of people are. Most days I'm just anxious to see how my life will turn out. Up until now, I've never really had to make any major decisions, but time is quickly running out and I feel like the rest of my life will be based off of the decisions I make now. I don't know if that's exactly true or not, but I feel like it is. Hopefully the choices I make will affect my life in a positive way and I can at least sort of figure out my direction in life, and if others want to follow my journey, they are more than welcome to.