The most anticipated night of my life...prom.

Just to start off with, I was being sarcastic in the title. I hope I don't end up like one of those people in their 40's who still dress like they're in high school and act like the highlight of their lives was homecoming and the prom. Not that there's anything wrong with those people, I just hope there are more moving points in my life besides a school dance. But anyways, with the holidays over and spring approaching (not around here, it's been snowing like crazy...which by the way I did get a snowday the other day in case anyone cares) students at my school seem to have only one thing on their minds, and that is prom. For me, prom is really nothing more than a night to celebrate the end of high school. Because my high school experience has just been on the mediocre side, I'm not quite sure what to do about the whole prom thing. To be honest I haven't had a whole lot of time to worry about it. Within the last two weeks my life has been basically flipped upside down. I got deferred from the college I've wanted to go to since I was about 12, and broke up with my boyfriend of over a year. It seems like when I maybe had my life figured out, everything decided to change on me. I have to say, it bothers me that I worked really hard all through high school to end up being the one sitting here without any idea on what direction to head in next. While I try to figure out what other colleges to apply to, my friends have been trying to figure out who their prom date will be. I'm still undecided about whether I'll go or not. I'll have to see if someone asks me or if there's a guy friend I can ask. I think part of the reason I'm hesitant to go to prom is because I'm scared I'll be let down. I always have too high of expectations for everything. I can still remember the eighth grade dance I went to. It was a dance but it was only open to the eighth graders, where we were supposed to celebrate the end of middle school. I remember buying a brand new dress, new shoes, and getting my hair and nails done. I wasn't the only one who did that, the majority of the girls going also did the same. We were all so excited-who was going with who, who would dance with who, what we would do there, etc. All of the girls talked about it for months, while most of the guys didn't say much of anything. That should've been a warning sign right there. I still remember walking into the dance, I was so excited. Everyone's dress was so pretty, we all took so much time to get ready. Then I saw the guys. Most of the guys decided it would be funny to blow off the whole idea of a semi-formal dance. They decided to wear jeans, t-shirts, and draw on black mustaches (they took the salsa dancing theme a bit too far). All of the girls just looked at each other like "did I really just spend two hundred dollars to look nice for my crush who I wanted to dance with and he's wearing that?" To make it even better, the guys decided to play basketball and skip most of the dancing and related activities. I just remember feeling so let down. I mean my friends and I hung out, which was fun, but I guess my ideas of some romantic evening with the boy I had liked since first grade didn't measure up to reality. Looking back on it now, it's kind of funny. I guess the lesson I learned is that sometimes the things we expect to be great and amazing really just end up being like any other day, while the days we least expect to be a pivotal point in our lives are sometimes the ones that matter the most. Hopefully I'll have one of those pivotal days soon, because I definitely need some direction in my life.